in your shoes.
i took a step back for months.
because i thought, i’ve taken things too far.
expecting everybody to share the same perception as i do.
so,
i tried stepping in your shoes.
for you, there was nothing.
well, rule is to just turn up (or not).
its freedom.
no worries about attendance, no worries about money, no worries about plans, no worries about satisfying everybody, no worries about … …
(psst, the list goes on and on!)
i can go if i want to,
i can not go if i don’t feel like it.
i can go if people whom i want them to go goes.
i can not go if i don’t want to see those people’s face.
i can go if its gonna be fun.
i can not go if i feel its gonna be awkward.
just a negative/positive reply will do,
no reasons/explaination required.
“Okay! I will be there!”
“Sorry, I won’t be able to make it.”
i tried stepping in your shoes.
my schedule crashes, events happening at the same time.
i agree,
it was a dilemma.
i will have to sacrfice one.
i will have to disappoint one.
too bad for the one i sacrificed then.
too bad for crashing it into my event.
i can always apologise.
i tried stepping in your shoes.
i can’t decide. i’m not the decision maker.
but i can comment, i can give feedbacks.
butbutbut,
the comments never got through, they got shot down.
no explainable explainations, no reasonable reasons
because i’m not in the frontline
because i do not know the full story.
no point giving my twocents worth.
i tried stepping in your shoes.
i don’t know what to do.
all i can is to listen to instructions because i’m not the boss.
all i can do is to linger around awkward while the rest busied.
no one asked me for any help,
i do not know what help needs to be done.
i just sat and stare.
i tried stepping in your shoes.
and these are all i’ve learnt and found out.
something to ponder over.
in your perspctive.
i’ve enjoyed in your position
i’ve realised my mistakes
and i’ll learn.
……….
but humans are selfish creatures by nature.
by nature, Joannas is selfish too.
I do agree that i’ve pushed too far in wanting you to cherish what i treasure and what i think you should treasure.
but sometimes,
i do appreciate some..
courtesy.
i’m not going to flare up if you weren’t be able to make it.
because you can reply. no reasons needed. i don’t have the rights to know your life.
just let me know you’re alive. (ooo. it rhymes.)
i’m not going to piss off if you needed time to plan/confirm your schedule
because you can tell me that you’ll get back to me another day.
don’t leave me hanging by the word “i don’t know”.. neither will i know you.
please, don’t give me hopes, and bloodied them right before my eyes.
is that too much to ask for?
